Saturday, January 24, 2009

Thinking Out Loud....

I'm not sure who all knows about my niece Emily. She is everything to me. I think about her all the time, but for some reason I was thinking about her more than usual tonight (probably because I was at Fry's, all by myself, with NO kids--I actually had a moment to hear myself think). Anyhow, Emily is my sister's first born. She was born only 7 weeks after Kaylee. Unfortunatly her life on this earth was very short-lived. My sister (Leah) had gone to wake her from a nap and she was purple. Leah started CPR right away, but it was too late, Emily was already in heaven at only 4 days old.

Kaylee & Emily

There are a lot of things that make this situation difficult--the obvious, not being able to watch my niece grow up and my only sister raise her fisrt-born. But then all the "whys & whats": Why was she only given 4 days on this earth? What was her purpose? What caused her to die?
We were told that she basically died of SIDS (meaning they had NO answers to give us). No one in my family buys the SIDS theory. Without going into too much detail, we have our own reason to believe she perhaps died from Meningitis. I, personally, pleaded with the ME (Medical Examiner) to test her blood samples for Meningitis, but they had there own agenda (which was to make sure they could find no evidence suggesting my sister did anything harmful to the baby). Honestly, unless one has $$$ to take those suckers to court, then it's totally just a huge joke. So, we have no closure, and I don't think we ever will...very difficult to grasp.
Anyway, there were 4 grandchildren born to my parents that year (2006). My nephew Shea (May), Kaylee (Aug), Emily (Sept) and lastly came Brian (Nov). I can only imagine what gatherings would be like if Kaylee had Miss Emmy (Emily) to run around with and be "partners in crime" with. It SUCKS. They were only SEVEN weeks apart. They were supposed to be playmates and buddies. They were supposed to grow up together.

Shea, Kaylee & Brian Last summer (2008)

My sister and I have grown super close to one another. We weren't always close, infact, we struggled to even look at one-another growing up. But now I look at her as a friend, a best friend. We go out to lunch at least once a week and talk as we let our kids play. But it seems so unfair that Emily isn't there.

This is the strangest thing. Really kind of a blessing in my eyes. Alyssa was born almost 5 months ago. For about the first 3 weeks of her life I'd just stare at her face wondering why it looked sooooo familiar. She really didn't look much like my other babies, her nose was very different. I just couldn't figure it out though. Then one day as I was sitting with her in the living room, it hit me...she TOTALLY resembled Emily. It was awesome!!!



I often look at her and wonder if Emily would have looked like her at the various ages. My sister believes she would have, I'd have to agree.

I know I am just rambling on. My thoughts aren't always very clear, but...I am honestly okay. I am just missing my little angel tonight. I love that girl so much! Unfortunately alot of the time it just seems so it never even happened. You know, I'm one who likes to think "that will never happen to me." And though I have never lost my own child, I lost a very special family member and it just doesn't seem like something that horrific could happen to my sister, nor the rest of our family who are deeply devestated by this tragedy.

But, I guess it'd be good for me to end this post on a good note...AMBER!!! My sister gave birth to her second daughter last December. She's our little cute and smart.

Here's a pic of little Ambee:

Monday, January 19, 2009

Saturday was a: Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day!!! (or something like that).

Both Eddie and I had plans for this past Saturday. My plan was to go to school to start my MicroBiology class, and Eddie had plans on taking our family van to vehicle emissions to get it smoged as well as various other errands.

We'll, I got to class at about 7:45am and struggled to keep my eyes opened as I sat there waiting for class to start. Finnally our instructor came in and it was shortly there-after my mind was made up...I was soooo gonna drop that class. She had such a thick accent I could hardly understand anything that came out of her mouth. That which I was to understand made no sense...she had NO idea what she was talking about.

So, as we were excused from class for a 10 minute brake, I called Eddie as I walked over to A&R (to drop my class) to inform him I was coming home. Hmmmm....I could tell by the sound of his voice that something just wasn't good. Turns out that our van, in which we had already put close to $2,000 into repairs, failed emissions. We have 4 kids, there is no way we can get by without a van.

Anyway, we were both fed up with the van and the trouble it kept causing us. So, eventhough we can't afford it, we knew we had no choice but to find something better....On to the car dealership we went.

We found a slightly used van, with only 11,000 miles on it, for an amazingly great deal. A Dodge Grand Caravan--it was exactly what we wanted! It has stow-and-go, 2 carseats built into the middle bench seat, is has MUCH more trunk space, and many other odds and ends which we really like. Our kids are quite proud of it...Ryan even named it "Bionic-Car".
Kaylee sitting in the built-in car seat (boy does this picture suck!!!!)

The stow-in-go storage space beneath the middle bench seat.

The boys are proud to show off the roomy-trunk.
And jacob demonstrates how the seat folds FLAT into the floor of the's a good thing he knows how to do it, 'cause I sure don't know how. (and geez does this pic of him remind me a lot of my oldest brother, Paul)

Now we just need to figure out how to pay for this dang thing...but on a positive note, I was surprised when I went online to make the vehicle change on our car insurance, and this van actually DECREASED our premium...must be a pretty safe van.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Boy am I gonna miss her...

Tommorrow will be my first day back to school since having Alyssa. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to leave her. She is much different than any of my other kids...she loves to cuddle, and is such a mama's girl. I LOVE IT!!! I used to think it'd be a "drag" to have a baby who loved cuddling, but it is actually really nice, and I look forward to it all the time. I'm not sure who it'll be harder on tommorrow? Me: because I'll be missing my baby. or Eddie: because he won't know what to do with the mama's girl.
Anyhow, it is my last class requirement. I have finished all my pre-reqs and this class is my last co-req. I'll be taking MicroBiology 205 and it's a Saturday class that starts at 8am (boy do I hate that hour) and ends at 1:15. It's a 16 week course and I really look forward to getting it over with. My guess is that I have about 1.5 years left on the waiting list until I can enter the RN program (which is a 2 year program). Unless, of course, I can earn my way into the Banners' RN program. I need to complete MicroBiology before I can apply for Banners, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed as I have a GPA of somewhere around 3.9 (all A's and one lousy B, uggg). If, by some chance I get accepted into Banners program, they pay for it ALL, 100%, plus guarentee you a job at the conclusion of their 16-month program. Hmmmm, I guess I'd need to find a babysitter at some point; any offers? (Hey, why is everyone one running away so quickly?!?!?)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Look what just arrived at my door....

A brand new pot and pan set...and a very nice one at that! The pots & pans that I was using are horrible. They are so used and worn that everything sticks to them. I was desperately wanting a new set, but you know how rediculously expensive a desent set can cost; we just do not have the money to go buy new pans. Well, my mother-in-law surprised me with this really nice set (a link to the pans I got: . I LOVE it! I don't think I have ever been so excited about a gift....wait, perhaps when I got my air-bake cookie sheets at Christmas I was just as enthusiastic (before getting the air-bake sheets I would place a smaller cookie sheet beneath the one I was using to get the "air-bake effect...or at least I tried to).
What am I...a nut? I don't even know how to cook and my favorite gifts just happen to be cooking items. How ironic...but it is what it is and I definently LOVE both my new pots and pans and my air-bake cookie sheets!!!pans2


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Orthodontics already...$$$!!!

Well, we just got one of Jacob's baby teeth pulled this afternoon. The permanent tooth was growing in behind it, and there was no sign of the baby tooth falling out on it's own. His adult tooth is growing in extremely crooked, partly because the other tooth hadn't fallen out, and partly because there's a lot of crowding in his mouth. He said the procedure wasn't bad at all, he didn't even know that he got a shot in his gums. When I told him was was surprised. Anyhow, here are the pictures of him after having his baby tooth removed.tooth2
The dental hygentist sent Jacob home with a couple tongue depressors (you know, the big popcicle stick looking things). Jacob has homework to do for her...everyday he had to bite down on the stick and try to get his top tooth to pull forward. I guess right now it sits behind his lower teeth and that is NOT good. If within 2-3 weeks it is still behind his lower teeth, we must take him back and get it "taken care of". I forgot what the actual procedure they'd be doing is called, but something to the matter of placing some rings on his back molars and forcing his tooth forward. (Sounds kinda like mini-braces to me). Anyhow, this is just the start of a LOT of ortho-appoinments for Jacob...his dentist thinks he'll need a LOT of work in the coming years (ie: braces). Uggggg.....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Thanks for the idea Krystal!

So, I guess there'll be NO shaving of Alyssa's head...instead Krystal pointed out that her hair would make a good mohawk. So, that's exactly what we did tonight...yep, she had plenty of hair for a mohawk (or shall we say "faux-hawk"?).

Friday, January 9, 2009

"Hair" one day, gone the next :(

All my babies were born with tons of black hair and never lost any of it...All except Alyssa that is. Her hair is falling out like crazy! It is seriously EVERYWHERE! It's always on her pacifiers, I always seem to get some in my mouth (just from kissing her) and it covers her head padding in her carseat.


She has completly gone bald on one side of her head:


And though she seems to have hair on the other side of her head, it is slowly balding as well:


Eddie, today, mentioned how we might need to shave her head sometime....the thought of that drives me wild, but I think he's right :(

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

How Does Everyone Do It?

I am amazed how well everyone else seems to keep their blogs updated...I guess I'm not very good with balancing all my kids with everything else as the rest of you appear to be. Someday I hope, let it be sooner than later!

Lyssi (Alyssa) is a completely different baby than in her first couple months of life. Her colicy behavior has gone away and she's become quite a pleasant, fun baby to have around. I have grown quite the bond with her, stronger than I remember having with my other babies at her age...I think it has to do with the very long hours I would struggle to comfort her as she continually cried in pain (due to her excessive gas). I mentioned this to my visiting teacher and she responded with something that makes very good sense, "you love those you serve." How true that is, and I never realized how true it was until I learned it through Lyssi. What an amazing lesson!!!

Alyssa is now 4 months old and is quite the chunker. I just took her in for her 4 month well check yesterday and she weighs 17lbs. 7 oz and that places her in the goodness, I must have some hearty breast milk!!! Her height is only 23 3/4" (60%). Ryan was 16lbs 7oz and Kaylee was 15lbs 7oz at this same age...and both Ryan AND Kaylee started out a whole pound heavier than Alyssa (Ryan was 8lbs 6oz, Kaylee was 8lbs 8oz, and Lyssi was only 7lbs 6oz).

Here's a picture of my "Tubee-Lubee":

Eddie and I have quite a laugh because was recently noticed that Lyssi was born with 2 completely different is like mine, and the other resembles Eddie. It is too adorable!!!


She loves to laugh and smile...she is such a joy!!! She still wakes up about 2 times a night to eat, more like snacks, but hey, how else will she keep her figure?!?!?


A couple weeks before Christmas we noticed that Jacob has some "shark teeth". It freaked me out when I first noticed it, but at this point it sounds like he'll have to get the baby tooth pulled by his dentist. Unfortunatly, I think he'll end up needing braces in a few years ($$$).

Aside from his lovely shark teeth, Jacob is thrilled to have started cub scouts. He loves it, and is beyound enthusiastic about earning belt loops and pins. It seems like all he talks about is working on his scouting (now if only I could get as enthusiastic about scouting as he is we would be rolling right along...for me it's just another thing on my "to do" list).

Other than that, life is just plain crazy around here. Miss Kaylee (or Sprocket, as Eddie likes to call her) is nothing but trouble. She's always into mischief...I can't believe I needed a girl sooooo badly. She loves to climb, and the other day she was on top of her dresser (which sits pretty high off the ground). She was calling for me to help her down. After several minutes I went and "saved" her and told her not to climb up there again. Well, lo and behold, that same night she did it again (no surprise!). She started to call for me, at which time I told her I wasn't gonna help. Eddie had just come through the door and she repeatedly called, "Eddie, come get me. Eddie, help me. " This went on for a while, until "Eddie" gave in to his princess.

She also has a new love for "fashion". She drives me crazy as she changes her clothes several times a day, and sneaks into my make-up. She's come out of the bathroom with lipstick all over her face only for me to find that broken lipstick in the garbage (grrrrr....).


Though she is one brave girl, we have found one thing she is terrified of....Mr. "Ho HoHo" Himself. If she only knew (LOL).....


Ryan is another trouble maker. He is the stubborn one of our pack. He is very intellegent in some aspects, and in other area's he just can't give one the satisfaction of pleasing them. He can be very trying at times, and loves to be Mr. "Funny guy". He always has some sort of joke, his favorite which revolve around the 'Knock-knock' jokes...typically when one asks "who's there" his response is "pineapple". He thinks he's funny, at at times we see his humor too. He does have quite the temper though.

He got a very "fitting" gift this Christmas. He loves his new Big Wheel. I had one as a child, as did Eddie. It was the perfect thing for Ryan...anyone who knows him well would agree. He is still pretty nervous about riding a regular Tricycle (because of the slight wobble) but he will kick up some dust on his Big Wheel....He LOVES it!!!!


We love them all, and can not believe how big they are all getting. Time is just moving too quickly for us. (Hopefully it'll be sooner than 3 months before I post again :)